When I was a kid, my much older, much cooler cousin introduced me to the concept of minimalism. He had this beautiful house which overlooked a river. A very precarious manmade staircase led down a steep hill where one could theoretically put a boat. He did not have a boat. Because he was a minimalist (Note: I do not know if this is the reason he did not own a boat.)
These days weirdoes on the internet express this weird idea that everything is complex and multifaceted. You can’t be a minimalist until you’ve spent a decade in therapy dealing with your endless baggage. Becoming a minimalist is a long, drawn out process.
Sorry, but that’s bullshit. Being a minimalist is easy. Here are five easy ways to get started. No explanations required. Minimalism = succinctness:
1: Throw away your shit. You know shit from non-shit. Start small; a little at a time.
2: Tell people to stop giving you gifts. Let them know you’ve become a minimalist. Even if they think of you when they see mittens (because you love mittens!!),resist gifts or donate gifts to your local shelter.
3: Live with the discomfort. You’re used to a cluttered house, things on shelves, vases and tchotchkes. Once you’ve purged, fight the urge to re-clutter.
4: Sort your mail before you enter your home. Recycle as much as possible the minute you get indoors.
5: Set a reminder on your phone to do short tasks on certain days:
Monday: Wipe down bathroom with Lysol wipes.
Tuesday: Five minute living room clean up.
Wednesday: Wipe down kitchen counters and clean kitchen floor.
Thursday: Take out recycling (if you live in an apartment).
Friday: FUCK CHORES, IT’S PARTY TIME!
First Saturday of the month: Panic dust (your mother just called, she’s swinging by in a few minutes).
First Sunday of the month: Panic vacuum (your mother left her mittens from yesterday’s visit! She will be there in ten minutes).